4 Coffees In

I have this theory. If you sit down and start writing something with absolutely no clue as to what is going to come out, then eventually what you write will take a shape and form, a direction, a beginning middle and end. Even writing about nothing is writing about something, even if that something is nothing. I do think it’s possible to get 500 words down on paper without having a clue where it’s going to go. This can be quite exciting as you literally can take it anywhere. At the moment I’m sat here, at work, consciously avoiding climbing up my mountain of paperwork, as I know that once I start the ascent, I won’t be able to stop until I reach the top (and indeed, descend back down the other side). So I’m procrastinating, and searching for a way to fill my time. I always consider writing to be something worth doing, even if it has no real purpose. I have dreams of having a column in some trendy weekend broadsheet or ‘lifestyle’ magazine where I can spout on incessantly about myself and moan about the direction my life has taken and ‘where am I going to go next’. I also have a dream of being an actor, in films or on stage, not so much on TV. Of course there’s the music dream, but I don’t like to think of that as dream - more of an inevitability that one.

So I thought, you know, I’m 25 now, I suppose I should start going for things that I want. Too often I find myself in the evenings just sat about, going out drinking, fumbling around on my guitar or playing Football Manager, and it’s a proper waste. Well, the drinking isn’t so much of a waste - it’s important to socialise and meet people and everything, of course, but there’s probably a lot more productive things I could be doing with my time. What though? Even when I took up running, which I considered the most positive thing I’d done in a long time, I felt as though the time I was taking doing that could have been used for more productive things. The running didn’t get me anywhere, so to speak. I even regained all the weight I had lost in about 2 weeks. I am considering asking Chris to sort me out some freelance work writing for one of the future publishing magazines, but you need to write things to get published. What do I write about? What do people want to hear about?

Seriously, ideas please.

The acting thing. How do I even go about that? I’ve never acted in my life. I think I’d be quite good at it though - I’m quite shameless, emotional, attention seeking and good at lying. Maybe I wouldn’t like it? Maybe I would be shit at it? But maybe I’d be world class at it? Maybe I’m the next De Niro?

I sat down ten minutes ago and began to write with nothing in my head. Here I am writing about the same old stuff.